I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
