Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The best revenge is premature balding
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
