i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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