Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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