your room smells of hookers.
And success
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize