My sheets look like a crime scene.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
