I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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