is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
