it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
