dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
