you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
