I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize