So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
