I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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