Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
