whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize