That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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