I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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