My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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