I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
