this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
