im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
