she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
did i just pee glitter
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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