If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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