My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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