just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
