Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You took a bar mat shot.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
