Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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