Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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