well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
