Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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