I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
