I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
