it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
