I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
