Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
