I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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