I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize