But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
