I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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