There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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