she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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