So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
