So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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