If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
