can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
