I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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