i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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