I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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