So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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