Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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