Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
