i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
