Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
