Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
