Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i dont even know how to be here
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
