so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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