He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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