There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
