Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
