If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm at about main and main street
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
