i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
