Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
