YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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