dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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