Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
