ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am puke
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
