my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize