We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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