i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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