In the future we'll all be gay
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I havenโt had a good sexing in a while
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