he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
