Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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