Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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