This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
