she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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