Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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