nut hugger
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
