"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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