addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
