Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize